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How to Recover from Codependency

1. Recognize that you have a tendency to be drawn into codependent relationships – and make the decision to change this pattern. This will require acknowledging that these types of relationships are actually unhealthy (which may not be obvious to a codependent person).
2. Understand that breaking these ingrained patterns is very difficult to do alone. Consider working with a counsellor to identify the roots of the problems, to separate out what are healthy patterns of relating from what are unhealthy patterns of relating. Learn how to establish healthy appropriate boundaries. Work on saying “no”, and putting yourself first.
3. Step back and allow others to accept full responsibility for their words, responses, reactions and behaviours. Recognise the facts that it’s not your job to be responsible for anyone other than yourself. Don’t assume the blame when other peoples’ lives go wrong.
4. Keep your focus on yourself and your own needs and problems. Remember that you also have your own life to live
5. Understand that the right thing to do is to take care of your own life and needs first – before looking out for the needs of other people. That’s not being selfish: that is being a healthy, responsible adult.
6. Don’t feel guilty about enjoying yourself – even if others are dealing with huge problems. You have a right to be happy, and to make something of life.

2 years ago ( ♡ )

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